Snow Day

School was cancelled today due to the cold, but I was disappointed. (Please do not tell my students or colleagues!) This was a great realization for me because it means I have turned the corner. I am not crying on my way to school or on my way home. I am still overwhelmed and frustrated. But I belong at school and missed it today.

Fortunately, all my reading and assignments for my Master's Class were done for the week. I brought absolutely nothing home from school yesterday, not even my calendar. So I was free to enjoy the day at home. I baked and cooked all day and have the fridge and freezer stocked with healthy and yummy food.

The best moment of the day was when I found a way to send study materials via e-mail to one of my special students and then his mom let me know they were able to study for his reading test tomorrow. I need to remember this moment. I am a teacher and as long as I can remember that I matter today for each of my students, then I can keep going.

What focus helps you keep going on the tough days?

Impossible

I came to a very important realization today. Teachers have an impossible job. Maybe it is just me. Maybe it is just in special education, but I doubt it. There is no way I can fix all the problems, teach all the skills, cover all the standards, complete all the paperwork, and attend to every child like they need. A colleague helped me put this into words. She said she feels like we are doing more and more for our students and it is not helping. Then came her profound statement. "It's probably always going to be like this with some of our students, isn't it?" Her words stuck with me all day.

I have been rushing. I have been working longer, faster, and harder. That is not the answer. I will never be enough. All I can do is be the best I can be. Now I sound like an military slogan. Corny and cliched as it is, I feel relieved. Instead of feeling discouraged, I feel set free to contribute what I can. While I may not ever do everything that needs to be done, I will do everything I can each school day. I will give my best and somehow learn to let go of the rest. Even more importantly, I will accept that I must leave something undone each day.

How do you make it through the tough days?

Thinking

I am in a whirlwind of deadlines, new ideas, rethinking old ideas, and just plain too much thinking. What has come to the top first are some questions I want to think about more when I can.
My first question is, "Why does Twitter have such a bad image?"  Thanks to a friend, I joined Twitter this week and joined a live chat with other special educators. It was informational and encouraging!
My next question will require deeper consideration. "Is education squelching creativity?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1yl0MFYzXc. I watched this during class tonight. Definitely thought provoking. I am passionate about all types of learning and have a strong connection to the arts. I know I would not have survived school without music. My brothers would not have made it without sports and physical education. Some of my students with learning disabilities are brilliant artists and musicians.  I am going to be doing some serious thinking over the next few weeks.

Technology Class

Here I am, taking a technology class and creating a blog. I have always guarded my journals, keeping them private and never allowing anyone to read them. Now, I am leaping in the opposite direction and posting my musings to the cloud for all the world to see. (O.K., maybe not all the world, but it feels like that to me.) 

I have been following a couple teacher blogs and finding it enjoyable. See what you think. A Music Teacher's Journey and Saylor's Log . 

I love to get ideas from other teachers and hope someday to be able to share some as well. Here is my favorite today: 

http://www.edutopia.org/blog/what-teacher-do-you-want-philip-mcintosh